Maggie’s letter

Maggie

Age 15

Kansas, United States

I discovered MCR at age thirteen, right before the release of The Black Parade. It was a really dark time for me, and I honestly didn’t start liking them right away- I didn’t care much about anything. I was finally diagnosed with clinical depression at fourteen- I’d lived with it all my life without treatment, help, or understanding. I was always isolated as a kid. Everyone, as early as the first grade, had made an inadvertent plan to befriend me temporarily, steal my trust, and then completely crush me. Maybe it was intentional, maybe not. I’ll probably never know now. Because of this, I had social paranoia as well, and an extreme distrust of people, even my parents and therapist. I’d always been a bit heftier than the other girls my age, as well. I struggled with binge eating, and then making myself vomit. I didn’t know at the time it was called bulimia. I was put on a cacophony of medications, one after the other, none working. Something finally snapped inside me after the umpteenth failed treatment. I decided I was sick of it- living. I would hang myself. I had no access to razors large enough to slit my wrists. I had no pills to overdose on within my reach. But what I did have were belts. Thick, strong belts. And a fire-escape grate outside my basement window. I had selected belts and tied them together. I had written a note telling my parents I loved them and that I was sorry I had burdened them so long. I had music playing in the background, but I hadn’t really been listening to it. Then, Famous Last Words came on full blast. I had never truly listened to the words, felt them. I knew them by heart, but never actually connected them to myself. I sat down and just listened to the chorus of “I am not afraid to keep on living, I am not afraid to walk this world alone” and I broke down. I tore up my note and flushed it. I put the belts back in the closet. I played it over and over again, curled up on the floor sobbing in… relief, I suppose. Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t better. I’m still not better. I’m recovering from anorexia and I still have lingering depression. But I am “awake and unafraid” for the first time ever. I know this may sound cheesy or clichéd, but this is my life, and I still have it, thanks to My Chemical Romance. I’ve told what I know. I know that MCR is uplifting, not an ‘emo cult.’ I know that they saved my life. And I know that I will never be able to thank them enough.

<3

Matilda’s story

My name is Matilda. I’m 15 years old and I come from Sweden. Here is my story.

In school, I never had many friends, just two. But for 6 years, these “friends” of mine tormented me and used me for their own well-being. I got into the sixth grade and they

left school but now, there was people that almost took the step into hurting me and not only by words but by hand. I’ve never felt so down and when the hitting stopped,

everything went on mentally. When I was home alone I would have a nail-clipper in my hands and slowly scratching on my wrists but being afraid to really cut. Blood have always freaked me out. But everything was so real for me at that time. I would lye awake at night, sobbing and not being able to do anything because I felt so miserable. I would literally cry in my sleep, dreaming of the horrors I faced everyday.  

Also, my mom and dad were never really friends. When I was a kid, my dad would say so many bad things about my mom. That time, I didn’t really understand what was

happening but when he moved back to his home-country, Australia, I started to realize what a idiot my father really is. He has been using me as a way to get 

back at my mom for everything he has done. 

By the time my dad moved back I found a band that has made me free from all my worries and problems and that band is My Chemical Romance. Their music has given me strength to continue with my life and hopefully, one day make my father and everyone who has hurt me understand that I won’t be destroyed by them. They can never get to me because I know that I’m stronger than them. It doesn’t scare me to think that I might end up alone one day because the lyrics state: I am not afraid to keep on living! 

When I saw a documentary on swedish TV about when My chemical Romance visited Sweden Gerard stood on stage and said as loud as possible that you should “stay exactly who you are. ‘Cause you’re stronger than them. You’re faster than them. And you’re a lot better looking!” and it just went straight into my heart because I knew that it was true. That everything would be okay. 

I can’t thank you enough MCR but I truly thank you.